Well...Fuck you.

If I am so fucking perfect, why aren't we together? If I am so fucking amazing, why am I the miserable one? Why am I muse lacking? Why

Nothing I say makes a difference.

You say that there was a point that you realized how fucked up you were...and you decided that you didn't want to bring me down with you....

Did you think that maybe you fucked me up from the first hello? The second year was overkill...The fourth? Well, I'd been in the grave a long, long time by that point.

I love you more than I love myself and I know that every part of that statement is wrong.

My mother spent 8 to 10 (I'm not really sure exactly) years with my father. He died. Regardless of the correct place for blame, he's gone. He's been gone for over 15 years now...She never got better. Every decent man...Every evil bad man...Every in between man...They were just tools to help her rid her mind of him.

I know how she feels, but I don't have that luxury. My mind won't let me fall in lust with another.

You tell me that I can not only find someone as good as you, but I can find better...If I just let myself...You say I only see everyone else's green grass...I only see the other, better side....

You fail to realize, you are the green grass...You are the other side.

I don't want to drink my pain away, but do you have a better solution?

You're my first, my last, my everything. I don't want to die alone. I don't want to be the lady with six cats and four degrees that never got what she wanted in life.

I want you to grow up. I want you to realize that you have someone right here...Someone willing to give you her everything. Someone who has already given you her best, yet still strives to be better. I want to be that for you.

Sometimes, I think about my death. I think about what would happen if the worst happened...You know what I worry about? Who will call you. Who will tell you that the woman you love, yet fail to be there for, has passed? Who will let you know how much you meant to me in the event that you didn't already know?

I don't want to die like this, but if you don't/won't change...