She balanced the grocery bag on her hip as she slid the cherry key into the lock. Finally. Home. Eight hours of job bidding, bickering, and part chasing had worn her to the bone.

She smiled as the little brown dog leaped to greet her... The groceries tumbled onto the stained, worn carpet. Her exhaustion beat out frustration as she kicked the expensive heels to the side.

"AH! Hi there my little buddy! I missed you, too!"

The little dog lept with joy of his keeper's return...Not unlike any other day. She scooped him into her arms, kissing his cold, black nose as she stroked his soft, floppy ears..

"I'm so happy to see you, too!"

"But what about me?"

She jumped. No one lived in this apartment, but herself and the "boys", as she lovingly called them. But, alas, there he sat in an obviously uncomfortable position. His knees and back straight, his bottom glued to the edge of the sofa...

She knelt to retrieve the mushrooms, onions, and chicken that had caught the eye of her ferret. She never once glanced up. To see is to believe. She didn't want to see. Those four words flooded her brain and grabbed at her heart like a fist. She knew...It was him. The only person it could have ever been. The last and first person she ever wanted it to be.

"What are you doing here?"

The tremors in her voice betrayed her cool exterior, but he knew. He always knew.

"Technically, the apartment is mine, Charisma...I let you live here. My name is the ONLY name on this lease..."

"SHUT UP. I've been here for 6 months, paying every bill, feeding YOUR ferret, and not a word from you. I don't need to hear it. Everyone knows who lives here and everyone knows you..."

Just a few reasons why...

I suck. Would you like to know why? Yeah, of course you don't, but since no one I know in REAL life reads this, and the people that do in internet world only catch it when they have nothing better to do...I will elaborate.

1. The only person (other than the grandrents, my brother, and a select few friends) that I give a FUCK about, has failed me...YEAH YEAH...Saving me from whatev...STFU, ANYWAYS...The only person I give a FUCK about has decided that he needed to save me from his stupid self...So much for devoting myself to someone..

2. Financial Aid has decided I get a WHOPPING SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS this semester because I made too much last year...

3. My family thinks my field of study is stupid and not worth the money.

4. My friends think that me getting drunk and entertaining them is more important than SCHOOL.

5. I'm friends with my ex's BABY'S MOTHER...WHO MAY OR MAY NOT BE HAVING TWINS!!!! Why? because I aM THE BETTER PERSON....pffft.

6. I haven't had GOOD sex since the bad man moved for "work" (AKA NUMBER 5)

7. I'm FAT...Not big rolls fat...Not even little rolls fat...just fat. pudgy...."SEXY IN MY OWN WAY" fat..

8. I may or may not be racist...TOWARDS MY OWN RACE.

I GIVE UP. FUCK IT I'M TOO DRUNK

It's all the same and everything's changed...

She remembered.

As she lie awake, alone, in the wee hours of the morning, she thought of him. She remember him.

She remembered his fingers combing through her dark hair as she ran a single manicured nail up the length of his manhood...She could still feel it growing from her smooth touch...She remembered how innocent this gesture, how it allowed her to fall into a sleepless slumber.

And she drank to forget, but it only made her remember. Remember that she was him and he had made her. So she drank, every night, just enough to keep the demons at bay.

But more than all of this, she remembered as she lay in bed, alone or with the rare someone that made it that far, she remembered.

Remembered how his voice sounded the day he called her...Shaky, unsure, not him. How they had talked, making idle chat...He, not sure which way to take the indiscretion, how to make it better. Her, sure of what she wanted...Sure of who she was and who she would have been without him...

She remembered the look in his eyes that first time since the betrayal. The single tear. The tear of truth, remorse...Lifting an unsteady hand to her face...His lip quivered as he leaned to press his lips to hers. She remembered the break down within.

She could still taste the salt of his skin as she made a trail down his body. She could taste the first drop as she pulled him into her mouth...So hard, so smooth. She swirled the head, making it harder than before. He clutched her neck as the moans escaped his mouth.. She remembered how he couldn't take it anymore. He was so strong. He pulled her on top of him. She straddled him, lowering herself onto it, gasping in unison. His hand on her back, struggling to make them one again. She could still feel him throbbing inside of her. His hands moving to her hips, his eyes looking into her soul...Searching for forgiveness. She pushed...She couldn't give him what she needed...The wounds still fresh...He was weak and begging for absolution...A desperate being, fully feeling the weight of his own desperate actions.

And she remembered the second break down, she remembered that with each thrust, his deceptions fell away, freeing her and deftly covering the truth.