I want to write.
Just like the majority of my internet and real life friends, I want to write.
I want to be published.
I want more out of my life than cheap alcohol and smoky Oklahoma hip hop clubs.
While the liquor is one thing that keeps me somewhat balanced in this mediocre state, it is also what holds me back. Liquor and fear are the two things stopping me from packing the dog and moving far away.
Oklahoma isn't a place where people are happy. Sure, you'll find those that claim they love it here. They say they love the slower pace and the down home charm. They may even go as far as saying that the MidWest is the new coast.
They're only fooling themselves.
How can one be happy in a place like this? Doesn't anyone in this desolate, culture-less farmland have ambition? Isn't there something inside of them from the problems everyone has, I have no problems. When I leave this place, I won't be running away from anything. Instead, I'll be running to something.
Brooke left two weeks ago in search of golden happiness and cerulean seas. She's found them in California. She'll never be back and I don't blame her.
Other friends of mine have city and country hopped their ways right back to their respective hometowns...Right back to the mundane existence that they call a life. They're not happy...
Saying that moving is going to bring instant happiness would be stupid. I know that it will be a struggle. I'll miss my family. I'll miss some of the my friends here...Others I will just be glad to get away from.
I'm done for now.
4 comments:
I totally can relate to how you feel. Been there before. Important to find happiness within, or run the risk of becoming a wandering soul. Your posts are interesting and a good read with a fair share of ups and downs. Cheers to a future of more ups than down.
Funny. I just left a comment over at Bunni's where I mentioned Annie Proulx's "Wyoming Stories." Proulx was writing about Wyoming, but it sounds like it applies further down into the midwest too.
As for writing about the people around you, I bet you have stories (or could make them up) like hers.
As for getting the hell out of town, I'm a big fan of taking the dog, a suitcase and getting in the car, throwing the Indigo Girls "Get Out the Map" on the stereo (and maybe the rest of 'mouse's roadtrip playlist) and leaving.
I am leaving. I have made the decision that should I ever get my undergrad, the dog, my handmade wooden furniture, my good heels, and dress clothes are making a trip to anywhere I feel I will survive. Stupid? Yes. However, I can't make it here anymore. Like Bake said the other day, "We've got to get you out of there." Out of here I will go.
Handmade wooden is redundant. Blame Leinenkugel Breweries.
Post a Comment