Not like me

It's nice to delude yourself with grandiose notions of the future.
It's comforting to think that those you call friends could ever give a fuck about you or anyone not in their direct line of sight...

Here
today
gone
tommorrow...

Speaking of the future, you convince yourself that those around you are there for a reason...Those that remain by your side are to be a part of your future.

Everything
changes...

You tell yourself you love these people and lie to the only person in your life that matters...You.
Though you know that your company has qualities about them that irritate you to your very core, you could never tolerate this person in the long run...You let them believe you will follow through with the wonderful plans you create in inebriation, in loneliness, in despair...

"Drink this and pretend you aren't
scary
and
damaged."

But you are. You are a product of your past. You are the direct result of everything life has so graciously handed you in return for your blood, your sweat, your tears...

But you can't compare...You aren't allowed to let someone know how damaged you really are...How the vicious wounds of betrayal never quite heal...Your defensive realism is viewed as pessimism and you earn the labels...Grump, grouch, bitch...

Or
worse...

Your past comes to tell you,

"You're not

scary and damaged.

Not like me..."