Lost

Class is out for a MONTH. WTF am I going to do with my life?! I'm going to be bored as fuck since I no longer drink. I'm going to have nothing to do! I'm not really bitching because I am glad to be in REAL school now. TCC is kind of a joke up against my core classes scheduled for next semester. Anyone can figure out the mean, median, range, and profit margins of random shit, but how many people can analyze a horror movie? Hells yeah.

I guess I am going to catch up on my reading. I've got David Sedaris' new book somewhere in my car and E. Lynn Harris' new book on my coffee table.

I've pretty much lost all motivation to write. I'm not much good at it since I put down the booze. I mean, seriously, most great writers are hopped up on something when they create masterpieces...Either that or they're schizophrenic.

I also think I might attempt to push some of this pent up energy towards excercise and health. Maybe learn how to make some healthy meals...Whatev.


On another note, I believe that I have become totally lost in this psuedo-relationship with Marcus. We're not together, but he's acting different than usual. I act like we're together. Poor Anthony and Gary don't stand a chance these days. The only time I don't talk to him is if I am being an ass and trying to prove a point and occasionally, when he goes home. But here's the kicker: I don't know if he's still with this girl. I have no idea! I asked him not to mention her to me. I can't maintain my sanity (or what's left of it) if he mentions her name! Just like when I talk to Ambre and she mentions his name, it makes me want to rip her eyes from her skull.

And I feel like a total ass because I have to put Clayton Garner to sleep and I didn't even CONSIDER how Marcus might feel about the situation. He did belong to him first, but Marcus has never been one to discuss anything that could be considered an emotion. The really bad part is he's the one that is going to pay for it. Bech. I don't even know what to say to that..."Thanks for sending me money to kill my/our ferret?"

It sucks because Clayton is my little travel buddy and I love, love, love him...But he's sick. Sick as fuck. He throws up everything he eats and goes into a catatonic state after throwing up. He sleeps pretty much ALL day and the tumor is so big I can see it.

Weeeeeeellllllllll, good ol' Scandals is staying at my hotel tonight with her job and housekeeping is running my front desk, so I think I'll head off to work and kick some "love you long time" ass...