I get it now...

I get it now...You weren't in my life to be my one and only. You came into my life to show me that though I've been through the proverbial trenches, I can always find my way out. I love you for that. I know that right now (and everytime you leave) you're not happy about it...You do it to prove to me that though you're the only person I have...The only person that is sad when I'm sad. The only person that hurts when I hurt...I can make it without you. You're out to prove to me that though I miss you and though I love you and at times I feel that you destroy me, you don't. You're there to make me stronger than I have ever been.You know me better than my friends...Better than my grandparents...Better than anyone I have ever come across...And you know that I need someone like you to prove to me that I don't need anyone.It all makes sense now. The promises that once we both get our shit together that things will be different. The argument about me feeling abandoned and how it is different thatn when other people leave me...I get it. You don't hate me. You love me...You love me more than anyone else ever could. And as much as it hurts me and as many times as I have sat alone in your...In MY apartment and said that I couldn't make it without you, I can. That's what you want proof of...You want to know that I can be okay without your continual support.It is different. You don't leave because you want to, you leave because you know that you have to leave. You have to show me that I am okay without you or anyone else.You told me I needed a dog...Someone to keep me company when you left. You told me that one day everything would be different. You told me that people have to fix themselves before they can focus on anything else...You offered to come to my graduation. You told me that you were afraid for me because you're afraid that I will fail...Right now, as I sit here, with tears in my eyes, I love you more than I ever have. You're a complicated creature, but I am dark enough to see your light...Thank you...I will see you again...As soon as I straighten out this mess I have made, I will see you again...Just know that no matter what happens and no matter what is said about you, you're my life raft.I love you, rat.