Starting today, I am quitting smoking. I am going to bust my ass in class. I am going to start eating better. I am going to start taking better care of myself. I am going to stop blowing money on stupid shit. I can still have my daily caffeine fix, but I am going to do my damndest to become a healthier individual.
I am going to start blogging daily. Not necessarily these bullshit rants that I've become so great at giving, but something. I need to work on my prose. First, I need to figure out what prose really is. I'm going to start studying for the GRE because DAMNIT I need at least a 600. I'm going to make sure that every paper I turn in is good enough to make an A. I need a 4.0 this semester and the next and the next. I have to be accepted to the assitantship program...Failure is not an option.
Oklahoma is not my home. I need to be in a place where I can thrive. I need to be surrounded by people that have the same intellectual interests. I need to be with people of ambition. I refuse to allow myself to stoop to the level of those that do not care enough about themselves. I pretend to be strong and not subject to the pressure of others, but I am fooling myself.
My drinking has grown out of control, so I am going to control it. Quitting all together is not realistic. I can drink, but I can't drink as much. Only special occasions warrant a drink. Yes, I plan on getting hammered at the OSU game. Yes, I plan on partaking in the wine at the Writer's Hall of Fame in October.
All of this sounds so simple. Everything sounds simple at six am. But I mean this. I despise the person I am becoming. I've made my bed, but it's time to get up.
Thank you. That is all.
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