I am trying my hand at food blogging...Or whatever they call it these days...
Tonight my friends (and some D-Bags they know) dined at Tokyo Garden.
I was a little intimidated by the four page menu. The size didn't bother me, the terms did. Scallops, shrimp, HAIBACHI!!! What is THAT!? Ha! I'd never been to anywhere similar, so I was searching for the drink menu!
I ordered the
I totally give up on this! Is that sad? 'mouse? I expect you to put me in my place here. Maybe.
Anyways
I have a person. He's not a boyfriend. He's not a friend. He is who he is.
I can't sleep many nights... He sings me to sleep. He reads me to sleep.
I don't ask him for much. Sex here. Sometimes a beer. Occasionally money.
He provides me with more than I could ever request.
My feelings (AKA Emotions to people with more than one of these wretched things)..
I am tired of trying to wax philosophically. I don't know how I feel anymore.
I know that Marcus' indifference bothers me. I know that this man's kindness throws me for a loop...I know that...I know I will shut up now. Three days. I have wanted to talk about this for three days and now I can't. Pitiful, pathetic, sad.
3 comments:
Since you asked...
What I ask a friend in this situation is, "Is this what you envision for yourself or would put up with ten years from now?"
Just assume that absolutely nothing will change for the better. If the thought of that makes you suicidal or murderous, then start changing things.
If you begin now, 4 or 5 years from now you could be speaking a completely new language fluently, living and working somewhere completely different/interesting, have completed a degree or a trek to the top of Mount Everest or finished the program at a culinary academy or gone to law school or started a non-profit or ... .
20 years ago I had $400, a Toyota Tercel a dead-end job and I hadn't finished my BA. Today I have a professional degree, am my own boss, own a house in a good school district with a swimming pool, have two nice kids and a successful marriage of 20+ years.
Four years ago Bakerina was about to be downsized out of a desk-monkey job she increasingly hated. Today she's 2/3 done with law school and all set up for a really cool summer job experience.
My point is it's all good and fine to live in the moment and to "settle." (No it's not.) But a "successful" life come from balancing two forces: Assume you will a) die tomorrow and b) Live 50 to 70 or more years at least.
Who do you want to be for that one day and for that 50+ years?
'mouse, you're awesome. I really like this and I feel very motivated. :)
Annnnnd my ridiculous ranting about this guy was a product of vodka fueled debauchery. I really have no feelings for him. Not sure why I get drunk and think I do.
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