The end of it all...

I finally did what I needed to do. It took every bit of courage in my body to tell him how I felt.

"I love you more than anything, but I cannot do this anymore."

I expected a conversation. I still expect a conversation. It wasn't a cut and dried statement. I explained it in depth. I told him that I couldn't be just friends after spending a substantial part of my life with him. I explained that this back and forth was tearing me apart. There is only so much I can take. It made sense yesterday morning. If he didn't love me, why would he do so much for me?

"So you want all or nothing, right? Is that what you're saying?"

Yes...Erm...No. FUCK I don't know anymore. He was supposed to call me back, but 16 hours later, I've heard nothing from the man.

I know that this is the way things NEED to happen. I know that this has been a long time coming. Does that make it any easier on my poor, poor heart? Nope.

What the hell do I do? I am the Queen of Self-Sabotage, but this was a freaking feat for even me.